going on a camping trip and in Need of Some really funny jokes in! ! ! ! ! ?
I& #039; m going one has camp-site trip and I really 4 2 we acres when night all the sitting around camp talking crap they ton accelerator concrete cuts goal fire the goo ones jokes sum born 40 year olds and would and dirty yew thanks everyone posssibble coils above that! ! !
Mushroom walks into a bar.
Bartender says, “I’m sorry, but we don’t serve your kind.”
Mushroom says, “Why not? I’m a fun-gi.”
lame, use your head.
Why does a poor man drink coffee?
Because he has no proper-tea….
This one would be great for a camping trip…
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.
‘Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.’
Watson replies, ‘I see millions of stars.’
‘What does that tell you?’
Watson ponders for a minute. ‘Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it’s evident the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?’
Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. ‘Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent.’
I collect jokes and are above 40 (taste in joke wise)…
http://area102.piczo.com/?g=37734849&cr=4
there is this guy who goes to the Super Bowl. He’s got a great ticket. 5th row, right on the 50 yrd line. so he gets to his seat and he cant help but notice the seat next to him is empty. so he says to the guy on the other side of the empty seat “Man, can you believe this seat is empty. How can someone pay that much money for a Super Bowl ticket and not use it?” The man replied “Actually that was my wife’s ticket, But she coudlnt use it”. The first man is shocked. He says “Wow. I can’t believe it. Why couldnt you find someone else to use the ticket? A brother, a friend, a co-worker?”. The second man replies “they are all at the funeral.”
share some pick up lines, like “do you work at subway? cuz u just gave me a footlong” lol it isn’t that dirty but its pretty funny hahahahaha
3 friends, physicist (expert on physics), chemist (expert on chemistry) and biologist (expert on biology) went for camping!
they were in the middle of pond in a boat!
physicist said “how deep is this pond”. he took a rope and said “i will come back after a while” and jumped in the pond.
he did not come back till 2 so the biologist and chemist made a conclusion that he was eaten by the big fish in the pond.
then the biologist said “i will find out how big is the fish and what kind of fish is it”
then he jumped into the pond
5 days passed none of those come out o the pond
then chemist ade a conclusion:
“Both Physicist and Chemist are highly soluble in water”
its a terrible joke but…
celebrity deaths usually come in threes, Micheal Jackson, Farah Fawcett and Ed McMahon, leave it to Billy Mays to give you the fourth one for free.
A man comes into the ER and yells “My wife’s going to have her baby in the cab!” I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady’s dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there are several cabs, and I was in the wrong one!
A couple were in thier bed ready to make love when their four year old son walked in an asked Daddy can I ride on your back, The Dad said no, when the wife told her husband it’s OK honey he doesn’t know whats going on, so he agreed. As they got in to the throws of passion and the wife started moaning and breathing heavy the little boy said, Daddy you better hold on yesterday when she did that me and the Milkman both almost hit the floor.
Little Suzy raised her hand during a biology lesson and asked if her grandmother could have a baby. The teacher was a bit surprised at the question but answered that the grandmother was too old to have babies.
“So what about my mother?” asked Little Suzy. The teacher said that it was possible, but that her mother was probably getting too old to be having babies as well.
“Well, then could I have a baby?” she wanted to know.
“Goodness no!” said the teacher, “you are much too young.”
“See!” yelled Little Johnny from the back of the classroom, “I told you YOU didn’t have anything to worry about!”
Two men are in a bar getting drunk. Suddenly one of them throws up all over himself.
He says “Oh, no. Now my wife will kill me”.
His friend says “Don’t worry. Just tuck a twenty dollar bill in your breast pocket and tell your wife that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars for the dry cleaning bill”.
So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker.
Eventually he reels home and his wife starts to give him a bad time.
“You reek of alcohol and you’ve thrown up all over yourself, my God you’re disgusting” etc.
Speaking very carefully so as not to slur, he says, “Wait. It’s not what you think. I only had one drink, but this man was sick on me. He’d obviously had one too many, or else he just couldn’t hold his liquor. He was very sorry and he gave me twenty dollars for the cleaning bill. Look in my breast pocket.”
She looks in his breast pocket and says, “But this is forty dollars”.
“Ah, yes.” says the man. “He pee’d in my trousers too”.
Little Johnny and Little Mary were playing doctor, on the back porch one day. Little Mary’s mom happened to walk out and see them.
Shocked and furious to see her daughter’s friend eating her out, she said, “You’re gonna get a good lickin’ when daddy gets home!”
Mary replied, “But that’s what Johnny’s been doing all afternoon!!!.”
—